This post is coming a few months late, but still completely relevant, nevertheless. In fact, there’s a huge possibility that it could be relevant for me now, more than ever. You see, a few months ago, the world lost an amazing, incredible woman, who will forever touch and inspire my life. She probably never even knew that she had influenced me in such a way, and I am positive that I didn’t know just how much she had left her mark on me until she was gone. However, she did, and even though she is no longer here, her influence continues to grow.
There are an amazing amount of times that I think about her. It’s weird, she was a passing influence, and I regrettably didn’t talk to her in her last breaths of life, but I find that I think about her now, more than ever. There are things in my life that continue to happen that make me think about her. I don’t think that I ever knew just how deep her influence was on me. Needless to say, I have taken her departure a lot harder than I ever imagined. I have sobbed, and my heart has literally ached.
I know that my spiritual connection with her was very special. There were times when she would be constantly, and emotionally on my mind that I could not go a moment longer without contacting her, and as soon as we would talk, we would instantly realize that the Holy Spirit was at work at having people pray for her. I am so honored and amazed that God would choose me to pray for this incredible woman, and she had no idea that the life that was really being changed, was mine.
You see, before coming to the place where we first met, my faith was somewhat broken. I had no idea that it was broken, but it was. I thought that I had it all together and had everything figured out about God. I was able to “perform” very well, and I did not realize the anti-freedom bondage that completely consumed me. However, having her influence through conversations and personal interactions, allowed me to experience freedom in Christ like I had never experienced before. I feel like I know Christ in so many more ways than ever, and I am certainly closer to Him now – continuing to grow more and more every day.
She also made an impression on me in my physical/earthly life. I would always watch the way that she would love people (especially women) and would always seem to know how to make them feel very special. To me, this is done by the gifts that she gave and the way that she always presented everything in a simple, orderly and elegant fashion. Still to this day, when I am thinking about giving a gift or doing something for someone, I think, “What would she give, and how would she present it?” I watched as she always made sure that everything that she did was done with perfection and style. Growing up, I was never taught to be a giver or a lover of people, but she has made me a better giver to other women and has helped me know how to love on others more. However, there’s also another great benefit to her influence. It has also helped me to love and do things better for myself.
As I write this, tears are streaming. I can’t help it. I am sitting alone, in the prayer room of the church where we first met. I am listening to the band practice, and they are singing one of my favorite songs, which just happens to be one of the many songs that she would sing so beautifully- Hosanna. I cannot think of a better fitting song than this for this time that I am writing about her, one of my biggest influences. I am so thankful and proud to have known her – to still know her and to never forget her. She has no idea the mark that she left on me, but I can assure you that it is deep, beautiful and never-ending.
