Goals

In episode # 71 of my podcast, I talked about the 5 Components to Setting Goals. In this article, I want to break down goal-setting TEA of Life Podcast-style.

Not everyone has goals, but I believe that everyone should have goals. Goals get us moving. They move us toward our target. They help us develop, learn, and mature in our nature. They help us expand our vision. They help us transform into a better person. Goals help us reach horizons that we never thought were possible. We accomplish more when we have goals. They help us achieve, grow, and lead. Goals give us direction and focus.

You can have personal goals, family goals, business goals, religious goals (yes, that’s a thing), financial goals, health goals, and so on. The possibilities are literally endless.

I believe that everyone needs goals; however, there are some that think that goals are limiting and that we shouldn’t set any goals at all – that we should just live and see where life lands us. As fun as that may seem, I believe that that is still goal-oriented. You either have goals or you don’t have goals, which, in turn, would actually be a goal…to not have goals. I believe that you have to purposefully not set any goals for yourself to not have any goals at all, which is actually a goal in and of itself.

I don’t believe that it’s possible to live without having any goals at all. We just may not realize our goals. I can say that I want to live today without goals, but that would mean that I would possibly not finish this article, and as I write this article, I am sipping on a hot cup of coffee that I am hoping to finish before it gets cold, which would also make that a goal.

Big or small, whatever your goals are, or aren’t, or need to be, they are still goals. Living a life without goals is still a goal.

Big or small, whatever your goals are, or aren't, or need to be, they are still goals. Living a life without goals is still a goal. Click To Tweet

I have heard it said that “a life without a goal is like a race without a finish line, you are running nowhere.”

On the contrary, I have also heard it said that when you set goals, you limit yourself, so again…in this instance, not limiting yourself would be your personal goal. I am positive that you see where I’m going here.

Henry David Thoreau, a philosopher, and poet said, “The mass of men lead lives of quiet desperation and go to the grave with the song still in them.”

So many people die with their “song still in them.” They never reach their potential in life. They have dreams that never came true, wishes that were never fulfilled, goals that were never achieved, songs that were never written.

This breaks my heart! This is why every article and episode of TEA of Life Podcast is an encouraging conversation pointing you toward living the life you love. My mission is designed to help encourage and give you the tools needed to create the life you love to live. I firmly believe that we were not meant to live a life of anguish or misery. I believe that God desires for us to live our life in full: full of love, hope, grace, intention, laughter, and freedom – freedom like you’ve never known or experienced before!

Maybe you do have goals or a goal, but you have absolutely no idea how to get to your goal or what steps to take in order to achieve it. I want to share some simple steps to get you to your goals. These steps are not from a book that I have read. They are not anything that I have heard from a seminar or conference. April and I originally formed what we called 8 Simple Steps which we talked about in episode # 50, but as April has since left the podcast, and I have worked on making this more my own, I have since turned it into 7 Simple Steps to Living the Life YOU Love.

because of my desire for you, I am sure these 7 Simple Steps will help you get out of your desperation and on to achieving living the life you love to live.

So, whether you decide to be goal-oriented or to not set any goals at all, or to become a better person, change your circumstances, or maybe even your attitude about your circumstances, I hope these 7 Simple Steps encourage you and help you to achieve just that. My hope for you is that by giving you these steps and breaking them down one-by-one, it will help you get to living the life you love a bit easier and create a vision for what needs to be done along the way.

So, without further ado, here are my 7 Simple Steps to Living the Life YOU Love.

1. Stop! Stop procrastinating. This is a chance for you to recognize the problem at hand. This is a chance for you to take a moment to just stop the madness; stop and recognize what may be contributing to what you may be experiencing. Stop lying to yourself! Stop telling yourself that you don’t need help. Stand Still and recognize the situation for what it is. If necessary Seek Silence for yourself. Take time to pray and meditate. Identify what it is that is holding you back from loving your life. What is it that is hurting you and keeping you from moving toward the life you love? Stop moving forward in the direction of destruction. Stop moving toward that thing that keeps holding you back.

You may not be able to immediately identify or know what needs to change or what’s holding you back, and that’s ok. You just sense that something or things are not right, and you need to figure out what that is. In order to do this, you need to STOP where you are, reflect and then begin to calculate your next move.

Think about it this way. You’re on a road trip when you suddenly realize that you are on the wrong road. You’ve been traveling for hours thinking that you were going in the right direction and would be arriving at your destination very soon; then something happens, and you suddenly realize that for quite some time now, you’ve been going in the wrong direction. You are totally off track and possibly even lost. You are not moving in the direction that you wanted to, planned to, or even wished to. But, once you realize this, what do you do? Do you just continue going in that direction and hope to arrive at your destination eventually? NO! You stop and assess your situation, your location, and your desired destination. I’ve heard it said that “Direction, not intention, determines your destination.” Your intent is to go in the right direction, but your mistaken direction intends otherwise. 

After you STOP and assess the situation, you need to;

2. Step Back or Separate Yourself and your emotions from the situation. This is a chance for us to take a look at and recognize from a distance what’s going on around us. This allows us to see things more clearly. It’s usually the ones who are on the outside of our situation who have the best view. What would we see if we were having an out-of-body experience? This allows us to see things more clearly and to think more logically. Sometimes we have to move backward in order to move forward. I’ve heard people say that to move forward, you need to step back in order to get better traction. Take a few deep breaths while you step back. Stepping back also gets us away from the situation or madness and allows us time to ourselves – time to breathe. It allows us to gather our thoughts. And, if you are you an overthinker like me, stepping back allows us to see or put things into perspective.

After you Stop and Step Back, then:

3. Search your heart: What is it that you feel, and why do you think you are feeling what you feel? What is it that YOU want? What is YOUR biggest heart’s desire? What breaks YOUR heart? What do YOU want to do? If something needs to change, what is it? Is there something that you can’t stop thinking about that keeps you up at night? Be completely honest with yourself. What do you hope to gain out of these steps? What is your ultimate goal here? Like I asked before, what is your heart’s ultimate desire from the change, or what outcome do you desire from this? 

For some of you, instead of searching your heart, you may need to search for your heart. You may simply need to learn how to love others. You already know how to love yourself well, and maybe you’ve been told that a time-or-two, but learning how to love others can lead to a love for life like you have never known before.

Maybe your heart is what got you in trouble in the first place. You’ve found yourself surrounded by other people who love themselves too much or so much that they cannot properly love you. No matter what you have been told, you deserve love. You deserve the love that you crave. Maybe you’ve known for a long time that you need to separate yourself from that particular situation or person. You know who I’m talking about. It’s exactly that person who just popped into your mind when you read that sentence. When you search your heart, you may find that you need to step away from a bad situation or person, or maybe this is just confirming that for you. If so, I deeply encourage you to do exactly that, and don’t allow yourself to feel guilty about it. 

Our answer to steps # 3 can easily lead us to this next step. 

4. State Your “Why” – Why do you want this? Why do you feel that change is needed? Is the outcome going to be for you or for someone/something else? You need to state and always remember your why. When you start to get off course or feel like you’re not making progress, this will help center you back to your goal.  Your why will allow you to get back on track and stay focused.

If you want to achieve your goal and have your vision for your goal become your reality, you need to make sure that you clearly state your why. In order to do this, you need to have a clear picture of what your end-goal really is. Your why will be what gets you through all those little goals along the way. It will be what keeps you going with others try to get you to quit. It will be what picks you up when you fall. It will be what encourages you when you get discouraged.

In his video How Great Leaders Inspire Action, Simon Sinek says, “Every single person on the planet knows what they do. Some know how they do it…, but very few organizations [or people] know why they do what they do.” He goes on to say that “by why I don’t mean to make a profit. That’s a result. It’s always a result. By why I mean what’s your purpose? What’s your cause? What’s your belief? Why do you get out of bed in the morning?”

I can ask you again, “What breaks your heart?

And my personal favorite step is…

5. Say NO! (to the things that do not line up with your why) In episode 56, Brandon and I talked about the benefits of saying no. We said that saying no actually allows you to say yes. Say no to the things that do not line up with your why. Doing this allows you to say yes to everything that does line up with your why. Whether we say yes or we say no, there’s always an opportunity cost involved. What we need to figure out is which opportunity cost we’re most willing to give up or live without. Are we willing to give up loving our life just so we can say yes to the things that are not beneficial to us or that do not push us in the right direction?

Leo Babauta says it this way, “When I suggest that people simplify their day by saying No to [some]things, I often hear people say, ‘But I’d rather say yes!’ Of course — saying Yes sounds so much more positive! I’ll say Yes to yoga, and wonderful projects, and gardening! But where does the room for these beautiful new things come from? […by saying no to other things] We have to admit to ourselves that there’s a limit to how much we can do in a day and that our days are already full. We have limits. So we have to say No first. We have to clear up some space by saying No to things we’d like to do, but that are taking up space in our lives — space that could be used by something we really really want to do.”

So, if you really want to create a life that you love to live, you are going to have to learn to say no to the things that don’t line up with your why. And, BEWARE! There will be people around you that won’t understand your no; especially if they’ve always heard you say yes. They may grow angry at you for saying no to something that they want or whatever it is that they expect from you, but you have to stay goal-focused! Only you can do this for yourself. Surround yourself with people who can help inspire you toward your goals instead of constantly stealing your time away from you. This is your life!

Here’s a great article on 49 Ways to Say No to Anyone (When You Don’t Want to be a Jerk).

6. Step Forward (into the things that DO line up with your why) We have to seek and say yes to opportunities that allow us to move forward toward our goal. We will need to keep our why at the forefront of our minds at all times. We will also need to keep the word no at the forefront of our tongues at all times. Every little step we make is progress toward our goal. Progress cannot be measured. We don’t have to meet a certain milestone or criteria in order for us to progress. Progress is anything better than where we are now and anything that gets us closer to our goal. Any progress is progress no matter how small or insignificant it may feel.

Failure can also be considered progress. Winston Churchill said, “Success is the ability to go from one failure to another with no loss of enthusiasm.”

And, last but certainly not least…

7. Start Your Journey to living the life you love; to creating the life YOU love to live. Ephesians 5:15-16, “Be careful, then, how you live – not as unwise but wise, making the most of every opportunity…”

I said it before, and I will say it again and again. My desire here is for you to love your life! I believe wholeheartedly that we were not meant to live a life of anguish or misery. I believe that God desires for us to live our life in full: full of love, hope, grace, intention, laughter, and freedom – freedom like we’ve never known or experienced before, and I hope that I am able to push you in that direction in every episode and Life Article that I release.

And, one more thing, if you have enjoyed what you have read here and have found value in it, please consider sharing it on social media and with someone you know who may also find it useful and beneficial.

Also, I would love to hear from you. Feel free to leave me a comment below and let me know how this article or podcast has helped you create the life you love to live.