Dealing with Depression

In a previous post, The Dangers of Journaling, I briefly mentioned how God and I started on a journey last April 2016. The big reveal is that I was (am) dealing with some major life-long issues that were (but are no longer) leading to depression; not severely, but I can see that I was well on my way. Through the healing process, God is teaching me to be transparent as He continues to form my story. It’s super hard! The good news is that I am learning how to deal and manage the depression; however, the source still remains (and for all of you who went there, my husband is NOT the source.) As I began to track back through my prior months, I was able to pinpoint almost when it started. It was at that point, it all began to make absolutely perfect sense; thus, promptly beginning my long, grueling, healing process.

I wish that I could say that at the exact moment of God’s big reveal in my life that things were immediately better; that His healing was instantaneous and that I was able to return to “normal” – feeling normal, thinking normal, just being normal (whatever that really means), but that hasn’t been the case. In fact, things seemed to get a little worse. Eh-hem… I mean, things got a lot worse – kinda like waking a sleeping bear, and now I had to face it. I had to fight it. I started out with the thinking that I could fight it with ease; with what seemed to be little effort on my part, kinda like when Ralph Macchio was learning how to wax on/wax off. After all, I am trained in Choi-Kwang-Do; however, it quickly became very messy and turned into a mega-long, agonizing Rocky Balboa fights the Russian boxing match (with me being Rocky Balboa, of course!)

The truth is, life gets messy. Sometimes we have to grab a sling-shot and face giants; sometimes we need to build a boat, and sometimes Jesus has to clean up our mess and replace someone’s ear because we mistakingly cut it off thinking we were doing the right thing. Sometimes we feel beaten down and heavy-burdened, and there are times that we may not even know why. Through all of these trials, one thing remains true. God loves us unconditionally and is always there. He will never leave us nor forsake us no matter how ugly it gets. He’s in it for the long haul. When God promises to be with us through the entire process, it doesn’t mean that it’s going to be pretty and that He’s going to make it easy. God isn’t afraid of a good fight. He doesn’t get nauseated at the sight of blood. Throughout God’s word, we see His people in their lowest of lows, but they didn’t remain there. God didn’t forget about them. He was there with them throughout the entire fight and then, through their triumphs and victories, God’s glory was revealed to be awesome and true.

If you are finding yourself in a time of hurt, depression, oppression, or just plain down in the dumps, know that “The Lord is fighting for you. You need only to be still.” (Exodus 14:14) and that this fight is only for a season (Ecclesiastes 3:1). I know that it doesn’t feel like it, but God hasn’t forgotten about you. He is there with you and will remain with you, right beside you, fighting with you, crying with you, hurting with you, until the end – even when it feels like He’s never been further away from you, He’s still there.

Don’t be afraid to talk (or yell) to God through your pain, about your pain, especially out loud. He already knows the situation, what you’re going through, and how you feel. We are not going to rock God off of His throne by telling Him something that He already knows anyway. God loves communicating with us. Write God a letter. Whisper it. Speak it. Yell it! Bang your head! Beat your fists against your chest (Unless you are nursing a baby then spare yourself the additional pain!) Tear your clothing! There will never be a “don’t try this at home…these should only be performed by professionals” disclaimer with God. Just do it! God had rather communicate with your yelling than to not communicate with you at all.

If you are reading this and find yourself in circumstances that are causing emotional pain and depression, talk to God. Tell Him how you feel, but please don’t hesitate to also talk to someone in flesh and blood, a spouse, a trusted friend, even a professional. Satan wants us to stay quiet and keep everything inside and to ourselves. Truth is, I hesitated even posting this article because it would be much easier if I just kept it all inside and hidden. God wants us to communicate with Him and be honest with him, but He has also put others here for support and for us to have fellowship with. If you feel that you are in need of professional help, please seek counsel. Never underestimate the power of professional therapy. It can be truly amazing!